Tag Archive | Violence and Abuse

Fifty shades of abuse?




I heard today a UK charity called for people to hand over their copies of Fifty Shades of Grey so they can be burnt in a huge bonfire.


While I don’t like the idea of burning books or any forms of extremism and intolerance (remember the Nazis?)


"North Hampton is a Domestic violence fre...

“North Hampton is a Domestic violence free-zone” (Massachussetts) (Photo credit: Wikipedia)


, I can see their point. I like to listen to both sides. That said, I’m really uncomfortable with the idea. Burning books, burning flags? No. What will this achieve?




One can only hope this is done to shock in hope of garnering publicity for the charity and highlight what victims of domestic violence go through. I can also understand this charity’s frustration as authorities cut down on the services they provide for these victims. Not so long ago some of these women were told by their local authorities to go and sleep in the Occupy movement tents because of a lack of hostels.


Really? What a ridiculous suggestion!




When I was asked, as an author, for my views on the Fifty Shades phenomenon, I declined to comment, pointing out I hadn’t read them. No problem, they said, we’ll send you a copy right away. Ah thanks, not my type of book was my reply.


I have toyed with the idea of reading them since everywhere you look, someone is talking about it. Comments, reviews, articles in newspapers, you can’t escape the wildfire.


The more I read, the less I was inclined to read these books, even though I enjoy reading different genres and have at times been nicely surprised. It’s just not for me and that’s fine.




The fantasy of the young virgin being taken in charge by a millionaire is nothing new, but I baulk at the idea of reading a novel where someone enjoys inflicting pain. Oh, but he has a tormented past. Hmm, so what? Many more have had a difficult start in life, no reason to turn on others, on the contrary. There is a time when people have to grow up and make their own choices.


While victims can find solace and healing with others, this sounds a bit extreme. Most of the healing has to start from within. Imagine if all of us who had a difficult childhood did this? In reality, you can’t just change people, not unless they want to.


Some will say this is a novel, no harm done. Perhaps, but will it do anything to help change attitudes about rape and violence?


Each to their own, but let’s not forget the vulnerable, the victims. While everybody are making jokes, they’re still suffering.



I chose to survive and break away





A while ago I was asked to write a post on trauma and child abuse. Now as I’ve said before I don’t wish to talk to the press if it’s meant in a retaliation kind of way, or a ‘poor little me’ type of thing.

I’m happy to discuss some events if it is in my own words and on my own terms. Why would I want to talk about it?

Because the more you talk about, the more it helps you and others. By sharing our experiences we are not alone anymore.

Here’s the link if you’d like to read it.




Free to be yourself | My Life! | Not for sale

We are free to be ourselves, no matter how hard it can be.

You know the saying…There is only one of you.

That’s it!


We can aspire, we can learn, we can look to other people and still be us.

No need to be clones, no need to follow the trend, no need to keep up with anybody.

Being a clone is a lost cause. Why would you want to be one?


I see it every day, people dressing like him, sporting the same hairdo, trying to talk like him.

Desperate to get his attention. Why?

I’ve never got that. Anyway “him” will be talked about in more detail in my latetst novel if you’re wondering what I’m on about. This is me, the mad writer! I start talking about one thing and I digress. I didn’t mean to talk about him. He’s lovely though, he’ll get a voice in the book, and more…

Often I’m asked whose writing shaped me as a novelist. Well, not just one author. Don’t ask me to name just one author! Please!

Of course there are many, from the first book I picked up as a child to the one I’ve just put down. Life has shaped me, circumstances but most of all the way I’ve reacted and dealt with whatever life throws at you shapes you.

So, that’s it, this is me. Like it or not. Oh, I’m still a pleaser. I still find it hard to say no. I also know my priorities.

And I can say no. I’ve been asked again to do interviews. Not the purely writerly interviews. I’ve been asked to talk about my life. While I’m happy to share my experiences I’m not for sale. So we had a chat, and another, and another…and I felt even more ill than I was.

Our press doesn’t want to hear a story of overcoming the odds and being positive. Well, they do, as long as you’re willing to provide every single gory detail. I’m not in this to name and shame people who have no more room in my life, “them”. They don’t get a voice. I’m not after revenge either.

So no, I’m not for sale. If you want to know my story, fine, but on my own terms.

It’s my life and I’m not giving going to offer you pieces of me to sell your papers and magazines.

My life!

Originally posted on Women on the Verge


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Responsibility, a new concept


Last weekend I watched the news in disbelief and shock. Many people died, others were wounded, but many also had the courage to act and save other  people’s

lives. Ms Gifford survived, thanks to her entourage’s prompt action, I wish her well. Others were not so lucky, I can’t imagine the pain that little girl’s family is going through.

A whole community is in shock. Horrific comments abounded on the web and other channels. Some people don’t even have the decency to shut up following such a tragedy.

The tea party thinks they are victims too. What, really? http://ht.ly/3CkgZ

I didn’t want to write about it at first. I’ve been too ill to do so anyhow. I also think others were much better placed to comment on this.

Here is the link to my friend Ana’s post who lives in Tucson.

Anger and the Tucson Shootings


by @CoOpweb


This was my response to it


I was speechless when I first heard about this tragedy at the week-end. We’ve been talking about a lot about it at home. I fail to understand what some politicians and their followers believe and how they have expressed themselves. I’m pretty sure a similar situation in the UK, although impossible as our politics and regulations are very different, would have resulted in a resignation and a grovelling apology.
So sad!
It is no excuse saying this person is crazy, politicians still bear the responsibility of their sayings
The wrong words heard by an already deranged person can have a devastating effect. I mean this in general and not just in regard to this particular case.