Blast the little buggers

A Healthy New Year to you

Hope you all had a wonderful Christmas. We did, excuse me while I cough, we mad the most of it.

It wasn’t the end of the world. We had the flu a week before Christmas so I nursed my children as best as I could. Needless to say, we didn’t do the whole Christmas dinner thing. None of us felt like eating. My daughter, she’s the healthy one, had already recovered by then and enjoyed sausages and chips.

Still Mother and Father Christmas managed to wrap all the presents. We sat by the fire, had a coughing competition. I won. It doesn’t matter, we were all together and we had what we needed, warmth and love. We watched an amazing number of films. Our Disney culture is up to speed.

The mad writer never stopped writing. I’ve been very creative the last few months, more books to follow…

I’m now taking antibiotics for sinusitis and tracheo-bronchitis to blast the last of these little buggers. I don’t make New Year resolutions. My wish is to stop having coughing fits, especially the night ones which keep me awake. Sleep please!

It could be a busy year, with all this writing. Plenty more where that came from. Another busy year then.

Happy and healthy New Year. What do you wish for?

Coeliac disease is no joke!

I’m coeliac, that means I have to be really careful with my diet, especially since I have other health problems.I can’t eat anything that contains gluten.

I was diagnosed a few years ago, after many tests and procedures.Coeliacs tend to go undiagnosed for many years.

There is more awareness these days and a lot more products available.It is extremely rare though to find a bakery or coffee shop that caters for coeliacs.

Trouble is, with all the food fads around, some people think it’s just that, another fad.Unfortunately, it isn’t the case and can cause great damage to your intestines.

Often, you’ll hear ‘what do you mean, you can’t eat bread?!”, “oh,you’re on a diet !”

Others pity me and wonder what I eat.

Well, I do have to be organised.I always take fruit with me, in case I get hungry and if I’m going to be gone for a long time I take my supplies with me.It also means, I’m forever eating as the food I can eat is quickly digested.

There are many products for coeliacs, some nicer than others.On the whole, I tend not to bother, I’m not so keen on the way they taste and furthermore, these gluten-free products are heavily processed and don’t feel natural to me.

So, I’m ok with it, it doesn’t particularly bothers me.Just please don’t get offended when I can’t eat something you’ve prepared or bought.

I appreciate the thought, but no, thank you.

Adopting a gluten-free diet deserves careful consideration

For some, cutting out gluten is not a choice or a fad diet. For people who have been diagnosed with coeliac disease, an autoimmune condition where the body has a severe reaction to gluten, causing damage to the small intestine and reduced absorption of vitamins and minerals, avoiding it is a necessity. According to Coeliac UK, symptoms of the disease, which is estimated to affect about one percent of the population, include weight loss, abdominal pain, diarrhea, anaemia, migraines, joint pain and fatigue. Despite the common misconception that coeliac disease is often diagnosed in early childhood, a recent Canadian study found the average age for diagnosis in adults to be 46. Unfortunately, statistics show that many people with coeliac disease don’t know they have it, and as few as one in eight people with the disease have been properly diagnosed. According to the Canadian Celiac Association, strict adherence to a gluten-free diet is the only treatment for coeliac disease and is essential to reduce the risk of further health complications associated with the disease, including osteoporosis, depression, infertility and certain cancers.

A change of scenery

A change of scenery :

  • to let go of die-hard habits
  • to take time out and reflect
  • to enjoy precious time with our children.

A change of scenery will do you good, that old cliché …

It is true though, as long as you can let go and appreciate it.

A change of scenery makes me see all I have. I watch my children grow up so quickly. Where have all the years gone ?

This change of scenery to try to get myself better, recharge my batteries and try to forget my health problems.

I’m reading some wonderful books, abandoning the not so good ones, no time to waste.

I’m writing of course, as always, spurred even more by this change of scenery , a commotion of ideas and words exploding in my brain. So much I want to write !

❧❧❧ and yet, it’s so peaceful here, sheltered from everything …


When food is no longer food…

When food is used for comfort, to numb your feelings, the emptiness inside of you or the rage firing  you up.

When you no longer eat because you want to disappear, you no longer want to be seen.You want to stop the hurting and escape the perverts.

When you don’t know any better or don’t care, because eating junk is much easier , only to find you can never satisfy this hunger for fast food, you always want more of it.

When you spiral out of control and it’s so hard to rid yourself of all the emotional problems that pushed you into anorexia / bulimia.

When you become so ill, eating becomes yet another challenge.

So many reasons why food no longer is about eating and becomes the focus of your problems, masking the real issues.

Food for thought


understanding eating disorders :

Resting, and the rest …

I’ve been resting. Well, that’s the official version ! I was slightly blackmailed into doing so.

I’m not complaining, I know I overdid it and that perhaps I could take more care of myself.

There , I’ ve admitted it, happy now ?!

Some days have been pretty mellow.I read, I watched my kids play, I sat down to have a cup of coffee and spent lots of time chatting, nice catching up with friends.

I even watched , shock horror, television which reminded me why I very rarely  watch tv  in the first place.

We had fun nonetheless.

Then one night, unavoidably, I struggled  to get to sleep and I wrote…for hours.

I’m getting there, some days I forget and the next I pay the price so I’m trying to pace myself, take my meds and blah blah…

Quite a lot to look forward , new changes on the horizon, our lives taking a new turn…

curious to see how it will all pan out come September…but that’s another story !

Time…the greatest healer ?

Although at times I’ve felt overwhelmed with sorrow and grief, I don’t think I was ever depressed.Somehow I always managed to push myself a little further.

A recent article I read this morning states that 1 in 6 of us suffers from depression.

I remember a visit to my doctor a couple of years ago.I’d gone to see him reluctantly, still raw from the pain .I had no intention of opening up, just wanting to get this visit over and done with.

I was still undergoing treatment having been extremely ill and suffering a massive pulmonary embolism in the bargain.

Having dealt with the necessary blood tests and adjusting medications, he then very gently asked me how I was doing.I found it  hard to deal with such kindness but having tried to fight furiously the tears welling up in my eyes, I gave up the pretence.

I admitted I was angry, I felt that losing my baby was a tragedy that could have been prevented and I felt guilty for not having a body better suited to carrying a baby.

I didn’t want anybody to be kind to me, I just wanted to be left alone, my only comfort being that having survived, I could look after my children.

My doctor then asked to take this test and on completing it, told me ever so gently that I was not depressed but grieving.I suppose, deep down, I must have known that but having my doctor saying it validated my pain and feelings.

It was ok to grieve and his words freed me.All the consultants and medical people had been focussing on the risk I was still under and that didn’t leave much room for feelings as is often the case.

People around me either didn’t know or considered I was lucky to have survived and well, I had two children already and this one hadn’t even been born.

Soon afterwards, this idea came to me.The children and I bought a balloon, decorated it with messages and then released it in the garden.

It was painful, excruciatingly painful.As we watched it float away towards the sky, my daughter cried, finally releasing the pain and tears some “well-intentioned” person had told her not to show in my presence.

I felt relieved to see her releasing all these emotions.We hugged and cried together, healing ourselves and each other.

I’ll never forget my baby, a baby so longed for, so wanted.I will always wonder what he would have looked like and still feel the pain of not having held him in my arms.

The road to recovery was long and painful.Time does heal you eventually so does love and children.The two children I am indeed very lucky to have.

How life evolves, surprising you at every corner.There was a time, not so long ago when I felt utterly broken.I did will myself to survive and get through this.I chose life!

I thought back then that the most I could hope for was to make my children happy and raise them the best I could.

I couldn’t believe I would be truly happy again, that I would feel so full of life again and vibrant.

I felt that after having been through so many heartbreaks and difficult times, I had lost my optimism that had pulled me through all the unhappiness in my past.I’d stopped believing in me.

Now, I know better, my true self overcame these negative feelings and triumphed.Through all the trials and tribulations life throws at us, there is always hope.

As a young child I believed and hoped, it made me a survivor.We are free to survive our lives and to live them to the fullest.Given time and hope, it is amazing what you can accomplish.

Wait and see…

I remember a few years ago trying to explain this concept to a Japanese friend of mine, back in the days when I was living in Santa Barbara.Well, I’m not exactly blessed with patience but still.

So today, I was due for an appointment at the hospital.Did I mention that I hate hospitals, those of you who know me will know why.Yeah, I know as if anybody likes them!

Never something to look forward, I have not been blessed with good health.I deal with it!

My consultant starts prodding, I can see him shaking his head, the Dear One is already freaked out.More procedures to come and that’s on top of why I’m here for today.

The Dear One is holding my hand, I can see the tears brimming in his eyes, I’m trying to swallow and maintain my british reserve.Oh heck!

We’re home now and I didn’t even get a lecture when asked what I’d like to drink I replied coffee please.The Dear One is very keen on all things natural as I am, it’s just I do like a nice cup of coffee.

So now, we wait and see.I’m not good at being patient but I am good at keeping a cool head and being optimistic.I refuse to worry about it until we know more.

After all, it might be nothing and then what good will have been achieved and if it is bad news, then there will be plenty of time to worry about it and deal with it.