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Tears in my eyes

I’m very emotional, not the type to blubber for no good reason just very sensitive and sometimes a bit too compassionate, but that’s another story.

Growing up, I learned to cry in private, the slightest sign of tears would only bring me more trouble.
So, not to make matters worse for myself, I’d choke inside, hardly able to breathe, trying my damnest not to show how it all affected me.

Over the years I’ve cried rivers, sometimes torrents of tears, hurting and grieving, the pain sometimes seemingly unbearable.

Then, one day, I realised one can cry happy tears, the ones that happen for the simplest events, those little things that matter to you so much and make you so happy.

Just watching my children playing or having a good time can bring on the tears of joy.I can feel my eyes starting to well up, overwhelmed with this happy feeling.

Moments to treasure and look back upon, these precious moments that get you through the tough times and warm you up inside to remind you that life isn’t always perfect but it always get better again, eventually!

© elleonthego

Food, or cute little animals…

As we were eating dinner yesterday, I happened to tease my daughter mercilessly, couldn’t help it.I know, slap on the wrist, bad Mummy!

I don’t eat meat and I rarely cook it, maybe 3 times a year, if that.My children are used to it, they also have a choice whether they do eat  meat or not.They do eat fish though and they ‘ve learnt where their food comes from.

On this occasion though, I cooked gammon.My daughter kept saying how nice it was, so much so that I “jokingly” reminded her that “lovely meat” had been a little pig not so long ago.

Of course, other people joined in, my daughter played the drama queen and thus more teasing ensued.It was so hilarious, my ribs are still hurting.I know…

Anyway, she did enjoy her meal, even though she was a little uncomfortable with the concept of animals raised and slaughtered for our consumption.

There have been times when I thought she was very close to becoming a vegetarian.Still, that’s up to her to decide.For now, I’m just glad she eats sensibly and is healthy.

PS No “bunnies” were harmed or traumatised, just a little bit of harmless fun.

https://elleamberley.wordpress.com/2010/03/15/french-and-vegetarians/

getting in touch with my feminine side

Over the years, I’ve become more and more feminine.Growing up, I certainly didn’t want to attract that sort of “unwanted” attention.It came as a huge shock ,that aged only 10,there could such people preying on little innocent girls.

As I became a mum for the first time,I began to choose clothes much more selectively,selecting colours I would never have tried before.Previously,bags would have been more practical than fashionable and I  had just enough pairs of shoes.

While I haven’t quite turned into Imelda Marcos,I now appreciate looking for a new handbag and take more care and time in choosing shoes and accessories.

Gone are the days,when I’d just buy clothes and accessories because I really had to.Yes,I’ve finally got in touch with my feminine side and I’m happy to show it off and be myself.

The expat child,or is the grass really greener…

I never really felt like I belonged anywhere as a child but I sure learned a lot from different cultures to foreign languages.

I was still a teenager when my parents died. I had pretty much educated myself until then and after completing a degree in America, I decided to go “home”. I married and very soon I became a very proud mum.
I tried hard, when my daughter was a toddler, pushed myself to go to the various playgroups, in spite of my shyness. Although, funnily enough, with motherhood came a new found self-confidence.
For a few years, I resisted travelling abroad and kidded myself that I had done it all, and there was no need to revisit. Of course, it soon started eating at me and so our first family holiday was booked.
As soon as we got to France, the memories and my french ,which I feared would be rusty to say the least, came flooding back as well as the way of life and the little peculiarities of the French.
Perhaps,like my parents, I’ve been looking for the dream place too.
All the countries I have lived in have their good and bad points, none has it all.
What I do know is, it doesn’t matter so much where you live but more the people you live with and the love you share.
I’m still feeling bohemian,I suppose but I also need that haven where I feel safe and loved and right now,I’ve finally found that perfect balance.

getting in touch with my feminine side

Over the years, I’ve become more and more feminine.Growing up, I certainly didn’t want to attract that sort of “unwanted” attention.It came as a huge shock ,that aged only 10,there could such people preying on little innocent girls.
As I became a mum for the first time,I began to choose clothes much more selectively,selecting colours I would never have tried before.Previously,bags would have been more practical than fashionable and I  had just enough pairs of shoes.
While I haven’t quite turned into Imelda Marcos,I now appreciate looking for a new handbag and take more care and time in choosing shoes or accessories.
Gone are the days,when I’d just buy clothes and accessories because I really had to.Yes,I’ve finally got in touch with my feminine side and I’m happy to show it off and be myself.