When food is no longer food…

When food is used for comfort, to numb your feelings, the emptiness inside of you or the rage firing  you up.

When you no longer eat because you want to disappear, you no longer want to be seen.You want to stop the hurting and escape the perverts.

When you don’t know any better or don’t care, because eating junk is much easier , only to find you can never satisfy this hunger for fast food, you always want more of it.

When you spiral out of control and it’s so hard to rid yourself of all the emotional problems that pushed you into anorexia / bulimia.

When you become so ill, eating becomes yet another challenge.

So many reasons why food no longer is about eating and becomes the focus of your problems, masking the real issues.

Food for thought


understanding eating disorders :

Melon? no thanks!

One night as I lay in bed, I remembered an incident from long ago.I was 10 at the time, spending the summer on the island of Corsica.

We’d just finished lunch and were having melon for pudding.As I spooned a morsel in my mouth, we heard this mighty crash.

This blood curling scream followed and then an eerie silence.We all froze on the spot.

This girl I vaguely knew had run into a glass door which shattered on impact.It was very sunny like always, she’d seen her friends inside and in her haste didn’t realise the door was shut.

She was airlifted onto the continent and eventually made a long and painful recovery.

For years, I was unable to eat melon, I associated it with this ghastly accident.Even to this day, I really don’t fancy eating it.

A little baker in my kitchen

My 10 year old daughter has found one of her talents recently.After excelling at writing (good genes?), she has now demonstrated a real talent for baking.

We always bake in our family, an enjoyable occupation for my 2 children and I so perhaps it’s not surprising that she wanted to go at it alone.

For the last few months, she, after many safety lectures, has been doing her own thing.

She planned her first time “alone” in the kitchen carefully and surprised us with very elaborate treats.She produced pastries, biscuits and even a cake, all in the same afternoon.

She did all this very calmly and with no apparent bother, although she did tell me afterwards she now understands why I sometimes get frazzled in the the kitchen.

I’m glad she’s picked up such a useful skill, my little boy loves baking too and wants to run a cafe with his big sister, when they’re grown up.Sweet!

It’s also good to see her understanding of what makes a good diet, especially at a time when so many people have weight problems.

After all, if we were all more conscious of what we feed ourselves and understood which nutrients our bodies need to be healthy rather than eating junk food and go on fad diets, there would be a lot less people with weight and health problems.

Coeliac, is that real?

I’m coeliac, that means I have to be really careful with my diet, especially since I have other health problems.I can’t eat anything that contains gluten.

I was diagnosed a few years ago, after many tests and procedures.Coeliacs tend to go undiagnosed for many years.

There is more awareness these days and a lot more products available.It is extremely rare though to find a bakery or coffee shop that caters for coeliacs.

Trouble is, with all the food fads around, some people think it’s just that, another fad.Unfortunately, it isn’t the case and can cause great damage to your intestines.

Often, you’ll hear ‘what do you mean, you can’t eat bread?!”, “oh,you’re on a diet !”

Others pity me and wonder what I eat.

Well, I do have to be organised.I always take fruit with me, in case I get hungry and if I’m going to be gone for a long time I take my supplies with me.It also means, I’m forever eating as the food I can eat is quickly digested.

There are many products for coeliacs, some nicer than others.On the whole, I tend not to bother, I’m not so keen on the way they taste and furthermore, these gluten-free products are heavily processed and don’t feel natural to me.

So, I’m ok with it, it doesn’t particularly bothers me.Just please don’t get offended when I can’t eat something you’ve prepared or bought.

I appreciate the thought, but no, thank you.

Food, or cute little animals…

As we were eating dinner yesterday, I happened to tease my daughter mercilessly, couldn’t help it.I know, slap on the wrist, bad Mummy!

I don’t eat meat and I rarely cook it, maybe 3 times a year, if that.My children are used to it, they also have a choice whether they do eat  meat or not.They do eat fish though and they ‘ve learnt where their food comes from.

On this occasion though, I cooked gammon.My daughter kept saying how nice it was, so much so that I “jokingly” reminded her that “lovely meat” had been a little pig not so long ago.

Of course, other people joined in, my daughter played the drama queen and thus more teasing ensued.It was so hilarious, my ribs are still hurting.I know…

Anyway, she did enjoy her meal, even though she was a little uncomfortable with the concept of animals raised and slaughtered for our consumption.

There have been times when I thought she was very close to becoming a vegetarian.Still, that’s up to her to decide.For now, I’m just glad she eats sensibly and is healthy.

PS No “bunnies” were harmed or traumatised, just a little bit of harmless fun.