Santa Barbara holds a piece of my heart and became a life-changing experience for me. So, when Natasha popped up in my head, demanding to be written, I knew this was the place for her. A safe place, away from harm, where she could relax and drop her guard, find and be herself.
Natasha is very special to me because we share similar experiences. However, I did not want to write a story that was merely about living in fear. I wanted to show that many of us who have gone through dreadful events do get stronger, that we can all break the cycle. Sartre said that we always have a choice. Indeed how we react is up to us, we can lie down as victims or pick ourselves up, live to see another day and grow from it
This has been the story of my life. As a young child I thought of ending it all, I did not know the term “suicide” then but I knew about finality and deliverance. As an adult, grieving many years later I came close to that feeling again, although this time I just wanted to slide away. Being in so much pain that you want it stop just for a minute, but having too many responsibilities to allow this selfish act of giving up. Only two little blonde heads carrying you through another day but enough already, that’s another storyline altogether.